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Camerooney Dubble Bubble

Last night balaclava wearing men gathered around three of Camerooney’s houses to  issue death threats unless he immediately doubles the cuts in the public sector.

Irate fans were horrified when Camerooney revealed that he might defect to the City as the previous wearer of the No 10 shirt did in the process quadrupling his income.

Their fears were assuaged when a report issued this lunchtime reassured them that the poorest would be hit the hardest by far .  He is expected to be on the front bench for next week’s match as usual.

Camerooney admitted he was wrong to accuse the club of lacking ambition - a seemingly insulting reference to the calibre of recent signings Clegg and Cable. Clearly the duo are not yet world class right wing monetarist scum but they are developing nicely - the question is can Camerooney show patience or is he pushing the owners to sign some real superstars in the January transfer window to freshen up his ageing squad - how many more seasons can they squeeze out of Thatcher and Tebbit?