Papa to gaga

When The Pope was asked why he is wearing a fish bikini at Westminster Abbey he explained: cos it's Friday.  Actually I turned up for a thanksgiving bash at Lady Gaga's in a turkey outfit but she was wearing the same one knocked the stuffing outta me I can tellya. Funny enough Joaquin Phoenix was there in the same gear but then he is used to being in turkeys - George Michael was on the porch...yeah... going cold turkey.

It is difficult to accept criticisms of Gaga outfits from men who wear barbed wire vests under their purple cassacks but Opus Dei have been unable to offer too much comment as they have been fielding flak like a Lutwaffe pilot dodging an ack- ack gunner during the Blitz ( I still have nightmares when I recall the hardship caused by the Blitz - grown men forced to wear ballet pumps and eye liner to avoid the humiliation of not being allowed in ).
The main accusations centre around women and children abused by priests and other practising Catholics - some say they should be thrown out of the Church but clearly they need to keep practising cos they don't appear to have the whole humility and grace thing right yet.
The Pope has offered aplogies but how can the church atone for such crimes? Well here's what I want to see on my way to church tomorrow: Benedict the Holy Father and all the church leaders responsible for the cover ups inexpertly painting the railings near the kids' playground while wearing those fluorescent vests with Real Community Payback emblazoned on the back. I can imagine the supervisor - someone picked from a long list of victims - Come on lads get it slapped on - it ain't a sistine chapel job, only another few thousand to do...
It will never be enough to atone and they deserve the vitriol (what a horrible tree that vitri must be to produce such a noxious oil) however Tatch, Dawk  et al I hope you will prove to be equal  ops anti- theocrats and hold all religions up to the same light of truth. Let's start with this:
How many leaders of major religions does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They prefer the dark ages.